Blood, Sweat, and Tears

It's the middle of the night, and out our window we hear yelling. Angry yelling. We were concerned and wondered if we should talk with the person who was screaming, or let it pass. Since it was a strange circumstance and we had just moved to Barunga, we decided to sit down and pray for that person--and not get involved.

As we have lived in Barunga for over a year and a half now, there have been several things we've gotten used to that aren't necessarily ordinary in our home culture. One of those things was made VERY obvious during one of our first weeks here, and has happened many times since. This is my observation:

Yelling at the top of the lungs for everyone to hear your anger seemed to be rather common if there was a dispute. This isn't usually accompanied by violence, in fact usually it was just yelling. Just to let everyone in town know that a wrong had been committed against the individual. There are accusations, anger, and many hurt feelings. This anger could be kindled by a rude behaviour, a nasty word, a mean-spirited text message, or grog.

Our community isn't the only one to deal with conflict in this manner. But does that make it the culturally right way to go about conflict resolution? I was thinking about it, and I decided to go ask Jocelyn, one of the church leaders here in Barunga what she thought about all the yelling and anger. She basically told me that's the way people do it if they've been drinking too much, because they aren't really in their right minds. However, after they have come to their senses, they go to the family and talk it out, quietly, and respectfully. We are extremely thankful God has given us a wise older woman to help us with cultural understanding. We call her "Nana Jocelyn". God has given us more than one wonderful helper when we don't know what to do culturally, and locally. :)

As many of you know, my indigenous brother went to be with the Lord recently. I was blessed to share at his funeral service, but I accidentally mentioned his name when I was sharing. In indigenous culture, you NEVER mention the name of the person who has passed away again. So, after uttering his name, I almost "chucked a spit" which is (in some communities) a way of rectifying the mistake, but decided to just keep moving through the message, and referring to the man as "my brother" from then on out. It wasn't hard, because I was used to referring to him as my brother, but I was still embarrassed I had used his name in the service(especially because there was a microphone with two big speakers pointing out the windows for everyone to hear what was happening at the service!).

After the service was finished, I asked one of the church leaders, "Did everyone notice when I said his name?" She said, "EVERYONE. But it's okay, because you called him your brother. The family wasn't offended at all. It's okay. Don't worry about it."

Moving on to the gravesite, I watched as many men and women approached the casket, stuck their fingers deep in their armpits, and then rubbed the casket with those fingers. I noticed the men first, and some women doing the same thing. I thought, "What in the world is this?" No one acted offended or outraged that this was happening, so I asked our friend what was happening. She said, "These men all worked with him, and shared sweat with him. They wanted to leave their scent on his casket. It's like saying, 'We shared life together, and I'm here now to say goodbye.'" I asked her if I should do it too, or if there was a deeper spiritual meaning. She said, "You were very close to him. It would be fine if you did it too. You should."

At first I wasn't to sure, and I thought of my brother, and his life he had shared with me. If this is how they expressed their grieving and I could relate, I wanted to do it. So, out of respect and love for my brother and his family, I did it as well. I stopped at the casket for a moment, and prayed for his family, his sons, and for Barunga and indigenous folks all over here. Our family wants to share our sweat, blood and tears with the people here in Barunga and beyond. We want them to know Christ, and the power of his resurrection, and the hope he brings for each of them that trust in Him. By God's grace, we will be a part of sharing with them that hope.